It’s almost shocking how often I’ve been asked by strangers if I breastfed my baby. The follow up statement is usually along the lines of “well good! breastfeeding is free, you know.” Actually… it’s not. Not even a little bit. Breastfeeding is definitely not free and I’m here to tell you why and walk you through all the sh*t I’ve had to buy to aid my breastfeeding journey.
In addition to all the little unexpected purchases you need to make, let’s talk about another huge factor people always gloss over… TIME. How time consuming it is to breastfeed, all the pumping, and everything in between. Nursing a baby is a serious time commitment, and anyone that tells you it isn’t is straight up lying.
Nomesie and I had a beautiful, beautiful exclusive breastfeeding journey that lasted seven months before breaking into formula. I’m extremely proud of both of us, and I can say without a doubt in my mind that it gave us an ironclad bond that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. However, it was a ton of work. Like almost a full time job…
PUMPING, PUMPING, PUMPING
Pumping is a H-U-G-E part of breastfeeding. I wish I knew that upfront… or that it was brought up in the breastfeeding classes I took / books I read…
I used to pump the bare minimum: a 4-ounce before-bedtime-bottle my husband is in charge of on a nightly basis, and one 6-ounce bottle for the five hours I went to work (twice a week). I would always pump before I went to sleep, and if I was lucky I could squeeze in a morning or afternoon pump. I pumped twice a day, on a good day, yet, pumping was still a massive part of my life as a nursing mother. Ask any breastfeeding mom and they’ll tell you, pumping fucking sucks (no pun intended). Period, end of story. It’s a cumbersome and mandatory process. Between the set-up, connecting the tubes and flanges, the placement, sitting straight up, if your pump needs to be plugged into an outlet, you’re stuck where you’re sitting for 15-20 minutes, the clean up afterwards, the washing of the pump parts, putting away the pumped milk. It’s a whole production and I wish there was an easier way.
ANYWAY here are all the things pumping requires you to purchase….
- OK, so the pump itself was free. I got my pump through this website. You fill out your insurance info and they figure out which pumps your insurance will cover, then give you a list to pick from. It’s super easy and the turn around is mega quick (like 10 days). I picked out the Spectra because that’s what my cousin recommended. I liked the Spectra, but I didn’t love it. Forewarning if you do end up purchasing a Spectra: The Spectra is the Apple of breast pumps — meaning they’re too good to be compatible with literally everything else you’ll need to bottle feed. You’ll need ADAPTERS (fuck you Spectra) for the flanges. Here are the two main ones you’ll need:
- If you want to pump directly into a bottle (ALWAYS) you’ll need these
- Clips to pump directly into freezer bags (I stopped using these once my supply regulated, because I simply don’t produce enough to pump directly into freezer bags anymore)
- Freezer Bags. Occasionally I do go crazy and pump more than I need for the week. Pro-Tip: watch this video, it’ll teach you how to freeze your milk so it lays flat and keeps your freezer organized.
- With pumping comes all the bottle accouterment. Of course, you’d need this if you formula feed, but most people don’t realize that breastfed babies take bottles as well. That meant I needed to buy bottles, a bottle brush for cleaning, and sterilizing bags. Also a mini cooler and freezer pack for road trips and long flights. AND breastmilk doesn’t have a sufficient supply of Vitamin D, so if your baby is EBF (exclusively breastfed) you’ll need to buy Vitamin D drops to add into the bottles of pumped milk (formula already has this baked in).
- And circling back to pumps… The first month after Naomi was born, I rented a hospital grade pump from The Breastfeeding Center. That ran me $80 per month.
- This is by far the best investment you can make when it comes to BF. If you don’t have a Haaka, buy one NOW. While feeding the baby on one side, you attach the silicone pump on the other and BOOM! You magically collect 1-4 ounces of milk WITHOUT PUMPING (technically this is called a silicone pump, but it’s not a pump — so confusing, I know….). The Haaka is pure magic and will help build up a freezer stash.
Lactation Consultants are very hit or miss. I had terrible experiences with 3 of the 4 I met with. They’re all in some sort of cult and will literally move mountains to try to make BF work. Some people swear by them. The ones in the hospital are harsh and will throw shade at you when your baby looses weight — as if you’re doing a shit job. Spoiler: ALL BABIES LOOSE WEIGHT, up to 10% of their birthweight. Don’t let them scare you or make you feel like garbage if you can’t breastfeed. Note: a visit with an LC can cost anywhere from $85-$250 per visit. The LC’s floating in the hospital are free, but be aware, they’re not the best…
CLOGGED DUCTS, MILK BLISTERS, MASTITIS, & RAW NIPPLES
And let’s not forget about all the terrible things that can, and will inevitably, happen to you while you try to feed your baby. I don’t have a single mom-friend who hasn’t suffered through one of these horrible things. Here are more products you’ll need to buy to remedy your poor breasts:
- Lanolin Nipple Cream. Because at some point you’ll get raw and your nipples will want to fall off. Lanolin is a magic bullet and it’s safe for baby. Warning: lanolin does stain, so use only when desperate.
- Coconut oil is always blissful too and 100% safe. In the first few weeks I advise using coconut oil after every session.
- Breast therapy pads. I really liked these. You can freeze them or heat them up and feel so good.
- IB profin and Tylenol (both BF approved) for the early days, but in all fairness, you’ll want and need to take both for the soreness and pain (doesn’t matter if your birth is vaginal or c-section).
Nursing Friendly Attire
I was never into buying a separate ‘nursing friendly’ wardrobe for this postpartum period. I’ve learned that you can make almost any outfit ‘nursing friendly’ as long as you’re wearing a top you can lift up, pull down, or unbutton. Same goes for a dress. But then again, I will whip out my breasts literally anywhere, at anytime and I’m totally comfortable with it. The number one absolute must purchase nursing friendly article of clothing you really need is a nursing bra. I can’t stress that enough. And if you’re pumping (which you most likely will be), you’ll want to invest in a nursing and pumping combo bra. Changing bras to pump is beyond cumbersome, and you’ll really want to be hands-free. I’ve tried like 85 brands and though this one is a bit pricey, it’s not a total piece of garbage, it’s comfy, and my favorite to date.
THE THINGS I THREW AWAY
- If possible, avoid a nipple shield at all costs if the LC at the hospital offers it. I’ve watched many mommy friends struggle to wean their baby off it and nursing in public is really hard for them. I tried a nipple shield when I had a cracked nipple ~7 weeks postpartum, which made it 100x worse. I threw it away.
- Shell cups. I leaked so much the first two weeks that I’d be able to collect nearly 2-ounces in a shell cup, IF it didn’t spill / drip out before I could scoop up the milk in a syringe. They have similar products that don’t spill / drip, but they’re clunky and your breasts will look misshapen.
- I tried a hand-pump because some people have recommend them. I hate it. It’s ~3,959,495,850,033 times more work (especially for your poor cramping hand) and you yield like 1/4 of the milk. No thanks.
- Nursing pillows. Ugh. We bought the ‘My Breast Friend’ because everyone swears by them. I thought it made breastfeeding harder and more awkward. I tried it twice at the hospital, once at home. Not a fan.
- My baby screams bloody murder if I try to throw on a fancy nursing cover or nursing shall. Don’t ever feel shy or embarrassed to nurse in public. You show more boob in a bikini than you do nursing your baby in a coffee shop, always keep that in mind when people stare. It’s 2020. Don’t waste your money on a special nursing cover. IF you want to keep it modest, a muslin swaddle (which you’re bound to carry with you anyway) works perfectly fine.
THE TIME COMMITMENT
In the beginning, you are nursing your baby roughly every two hours, around the clock. As babies grow, they become better, more efficient nursers, but in the early days you are nursing your baby for 20-45 minutes each session. Assuming you average 30 minute sessions 12 times per day, you’re committing approximately 6 hours each day to breastfeeding and / or pumping.
As Nomesie grew, she cut her sessions down to 10-15 minutes, but it was still close to 10 times per day. Add in the time for pumping, organizing your breastmilk freezer stash, labeling time and date of pumped milk, and you’re now talking full time job. It’s 100% worth it, but it’s a lot. And getting started doesn’t come as naturally, or as easily as many women think it will — unless you’re of the lucky few…
Now that I’m pregnant with our second baby, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to improve my breastfeeding experience / make it even better than last time. I think I found the solution… though it’s pricey. And of course it isn’t covered by insurance, sigh! I’m more than likely going to purchase, so stay tuned for a full review this summer — baby is due summer solstice 2020!