If there’s one word that can describe my new morning routine it would be chaotic (I’d choose cluster f*ck, but that’s two words) . Naomi isn’t on any sort of schedule yet — my boobs are an open buffet and she seldom naps. With that, here’s what our typical morning looks like if we don’t have anywhere to be before 12pm. (Psst…I quickly learned to stop scheduling anything before 12pm).
The Dream Feed
Scrunch isn’t awake, awake but her tiny little tummy wants food. We call this the ‘dream feed’ since she eats with her eyes closed and immediately goes back to sleep. This occurs sometime between 3AM — 4:45AM. It really depends on what time she went to bed the night before — on a good night, we can get six and a half hours in the crib, in her sleep-suit (the pink marshmallow suit). The dream feed takes anywhere from 6-20 minutes, it’s always a crapshoot, never a consistent pattern — trust me, I’ve searched for one. Luckily we’ve gotten really good at nursing lying down in bed. Once she falls back into a deep sleep, I carry my pink marshmallow back to her crib. Sometimes it works, and other times she wakes up 0.098 seconds as soon as she hits the crib and SCREAMS. If she screams, I try soothing her with a paci and butt pats. If it doesn’t work (and it usually doesn’t), I give up because it’s ~4AM. I take off her marshmallow suit and bring her back into my bed with me. She falls asleep instantly. So now my queen size bed has me, my husband, my baby, and two fifteen pound cats. It’s a tight squeeze.
The Morning Feed, ~8AM
There’s usually a feed that falls anywhere from 7:00A –8:45A. It’s a good morning if there isn’t one in-between the dream feed and the ~8:00AM feed. But after the ~8AM morning feed, she’s awake and ready to play. She’s super smiley, coos, laughs, and makes all the happy noises. My husband is awake and the three of us play in bed for a while. At some point my husband will begin his morning routine for work. Scrunch and I stay in bed, and I read her her favorite story (Little Owl’s Night). Afterwards, I take her into her nursery, where I change her overnight diaper (which, at this point, is about 5 pounds heavy with urine), and we pick out an outfit, a matching headband, and a bib. And then we play some more. This usually just means I ask her questions in a high pitched annoying mom voice, she answers with sweet coos and big beautiful smiles, I smile back, and she laughs in reply. The cycle continues for longer than a sane person would allow it.
Our Morning Actually Begins, 9:00AM
I change her diaper again, because by now — without fail — she took her MASSIVE morning dump — it’s a good day if it isn’t a blow out. I wrap her up in her baby wrap, and hands-free, we tidy up her room and head downstairs with her laundry basket. I make myself a Nespresso with almond milk, heat up hot water for oatmeal with berries and granola, and we carry on down to the basement to begin a load of laundry. We do laundry every morning, because that’s what happens when you have an infant. Back in the kitchen, we clean and sterilize pumping parts and bottles from yesterday. We put away clean dishes sitting on the drying rack from last nights dinner and tidy up the dining room as well. You’re probably wondering, “Dara, have you had time to brush your teeth? Your hair? Wash the mascara smudges from your eyes? Taken your massive morning dump? Had a bite of your breakfast? A SIP SIP OF YOUR COFFEE YET?!” The answer to all of the above is no, not yet.
Room Temperature Coffee, 9:45AM
My husband heads out the door for work, he takes the car these days. And if the baby isn’t asleep in her wrap by now, she will be shortly. All the moving around / tidying up rocks her to sleep for her much needed morning nap. I finally have a chance to eat my now lukewarm breakfast and sip my now room temperature coffee. Now here’s the tricky part. The baby is fast asleep on me, and I have a decent amount of energy (once a morning person, always a morning person). So I take advantage by getting as much done as I can. That means taking care of: my neglected inbox, online order something (between a husband, a baby, two cats, and running a household there’s always something to order), banking, making appointments, writing Thank You notes that should have been done weeks ago, blogging, setting up lunches, coffee dates, and baby play dates for the week, etc. etc. Just trying to be a functioning member of society, you know?
A Morning Shower, Maybe? 10:45AM
The morning is slipping away, but I feel productive, and a little gross. The baby is still fast asleep wrapped to me, but I’m still in my PJ’s, un-showered, with unbrushed hair, and morning / coffee breath. I now have to make a tough call. Do I unwrap the baby to shower? Or do I let her sleep? More times than not, I choose not to be disgusting. So I transfer her from wrap to crib. If I’m lucky, I can get 15 minutes to shower before she realizes what happened, cue the wailing. I finish in the bathroom as quickly as possible, all while listening to a baby scream bloody murder. But I decide that applying moisturizer to my face and body is worth another 60 seconds of screaming. I throw on a bathrobe that I don’t bother tying closed and feed her in her nursery. Once she’s burped and seems content again, I gently place her back down so I can put on clothes. She usually screams, very loudly. So I quickly throw on yoga pants, a nursing tank, a sweater, and my baby wrap. I stuff her back in and walk around the house, up and down the stairs to get her to settle back down. Depending on what we have to do later, I may go back upstairs and put on makeup. But who am I kidding? Just mascara will do.
And that’s a pretty average morning for me these days. At some point I would love to have Naomi girl on some sort of schedule. I’d love to have scheduled boob time at 5:00A, 8:00A, and 11:00A — it would make going back to barre SO MUCH EASIER, but we’re just not there yet. Hopefully soon. As mentioned above, my new morning routine is a total sh*t show, but I have never been more in love. Every single one of those huge, gorgeous, lightsupherentireface smiles is worth drinking room temperature coffee for, any day.