Our sweet baby girl is exactly four weeks old today. Everyone wants to know how the first few weeks at home has been, and I always say it’s been incredible, exhausting, wonderful, a whirlwind, and the most amazing thing ever all rolled into one.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I got a bit obsessed with listening to birth stories, and I’m thrilled to finally be able to share ours — as in, I actually had time to sit down and type it out. #momwin
We had the birth I had always wanted and envisioned, and I am forever grateful that this is our story. My goal was to have a crunchy unmedicated birth — a million reasons why, but that’s a whole other story in and of itself. Knowing that anything could go wrong, very little of it is in my control, I did go into labor with an open mind, trying my best not to get too attached to the idea of an unmedicated birth. Spoiler alert: my husband and I got what we wanted. An uncomplicated, smooth, and beautiful unmedicated birth where baby and mom both come out healthy on the other side.
I’m still a bit sleep deprived, so if some of this doesn’t make sense or has grammatical errors, please excuse…
Our Unmedicated Hospital Birth
Sunday, December 02
I woke up at 5AM on Sunday morning with pretty bad period cramps. After breakfast, I went for a long neighborhood walk to get coffee and called my mom during my walk. My mom told me that my cramping is a good indicator that labor is starting. I told her to not get excited, it likely wasn’t. As usual, she ended up being right…. The cramping was on and off all day. I spent the rest of the day taking long baths, even longer walks, rolled and bounced on my birth ball, etc. etc.. My husband and I got an early dinner at a Chinese restaurant that swears it’s hot & sour soup induces labor (it did it’s job!). By 7pm that night, the cramping actually became timeable, each wave was coming 7 minutes apart. I called my doula to talk about it / inform her labor might be starting. Our doula said that this could go on for several days before the real deal happened (yikes), but yes, it sounded like the start of labor! Around midnight, the cramping totally disappeared, so I tried to get some sleep and tried to not to imagine the horror of this cramping last for days.
Monday, December 03 — 3AM
I was woken up by much stronger waves, and I had a feeling this was going to be the day. I obviously I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I started timing the waves (waves = contractions) as I watched The Great British Baking Show (not an important detail, sorry) while bouncing on my birth ball at 4AM. The waves weren’t super consistent, as they ranged anywhere from 6-13 minutes apart, which was disappointing. It isn’t considered ‘real labor’ until there’s a consistent pattern. However, I coincidently had my 40 week midwife appointment scheduled for 1PM. I was grateful we were going in since I wanted to chat with a midwife and see what they thought. I spent the rest of the morning laboring on my own in the bath and in bed, all the while timing the waves. Each wave was pretty mild at this point, all it required was some deep breathing and stillness. My husband and I spent the rest of the morning tidying up the house and finished packing last minute items in our hospital bag, just in case. But we figured we’d be back after our appointment, labor together at home for a while, and most likely head the hospital later that night, if not the following day.
Monday, 1PM
At the midwife appointment they decided to check me, I was already 3 cm dilated, 70% effaced, and the baby was engaged at Station -1. They also wanted to check the amniotic fluid levels and conduct a non-stress test to be on the safe side, since the baby hadn’t been moving around as much as she had been in the past. We were sent to the OB side of George Washington Hospital to get it checked out (at GW Hospital the midwives and OB’s collaborate together). While we were waiting to get situated for our scan, I went to the bathroom and had my bloody show. I got really excited, it was definitely happening today! After our scan, we were told my amniotic fluid levels were on the lower side and they didn’t love what they saw during the NST. The OB told us to walk over to L&D and get checked in immediately, he already sent over our paperwork and had a room waiting for us. The OB then told us that we had to deliver our baby by midnight and I would likely need to be augmented with medication to make that happen. This not only made my husband and I nervous, but it was disappointing, scary, and kind of the last thing we wanted to hear. I called my mom to let her know what was happening, and then we walked the two blocks over to GWU Hospital. I cried the entire walk there.
Monday, 3PM
Once we were settled in our L&D room, two of my favorite midwives (Tina & Dina) came in to say hello. They apologized for the scare the OB gave us, and told us we were absolutely under no time restriction to deliver, nor would they introduce medication unless it became necessary. However, because of the baby’s heart during the NST, I had to be hooked up to a fetal monitor, which I wasn’t super happy about, but at least it was wireless / waterproof. My husband is a physicist and really loved seeing the contractions on the monitor, between the intensity and frequency, he found it really neat (insert eye-roll). Anyway, at this point, contractions were coming at 4-5 minutes, which is considered early labor and the pain was still pretty manageable. My husband and I got into a good rhythm with each contraction. We realized we hadn’t eaten anything for lunch, and the midwives encouraged us to eat, so my husband ran out and picked us up an early dinner. Let me tell you, having food in your mouth mid-contraction is awful… I had to time my bites just right… and shortly after dinner, I threw it all up — it’ll probably be a while before I can eat eggplant parm again. The nurses and midwives were pumped about the vomit though, they said that meant things were moving along nicely. I threw up at least four more times in the next few hours as contractions were getting a bit more intense. I really don’t like throwing up and didn’t realize that was a part of labor. Hours ticked by and we finally decided to have our doula join us. Before we called her, my husband wondered if we really needed her, claiming the two of us had a good flow and wouldn’t she ruin that vibe? Within 5 minutes of Amy’s arrival, my husband was eating those words and realized hiring Amy was one of the best choices we made in regards to our birth plan.
Monday, 9PM
Amy’s arrival in our L&D room was very welcome, because now, contractions were getting pretty close together and more and more intense. My husband was fantastic, but it was nice to have a second set of hands for counter pressure, massages, hip squeezes, cold compresses, etc. Amy knew exactly what to do, how to position me, and how to get me as comfortable as possible. Amy dimmed all the lights, brought out a portable speaker, essential oils, and battery operated candles — she turned a sterile L&D room into Labor Land, it was wonderful. I asked her to plug in The Killers station on Pandora, because sometimes all you need is music that makes you incredibly happy and motivates you to stay strong (I was going to ask for Florence and The Machine but I couldn’t do that to my husband).
My mom had hopped on a flight as soon as we told her we were getting checked in, and arrived in our L&D room a half hour after Amy arrived. Orginially, my mom was going to stop in to say hello and head to her hotel until we delivered, but as soon as I saw her, I started crying, and knew I needed her in the room. At this point, I was still pretty chatty and we were all joking and laughing in between contractions. The contractions were intense, but it still wasn’t that bad.
Monday, 11PM
I was EXHAUSTED from lack of food / sleep / working through contractions for nearly a full day. I needed to rest, even just for a minute. I laid down and was actually able to drift off in between waves (go figure). Which was a good and bad thing. Contractions slowed down while I rested, which worried everyone, as they thought it would drag labor out even further. But my body needed the rest in order to power through, I don’t think I would’ve made it had it not been for that brief nap. Laying on my side when contractions would hit was maximally uncomfortable though, so yeah, good and bad. I was no longer chatty, laughing, or social at all. Amy told my husband and my mom that meant things were really starting to pick up.
Monday, 11:57PM
After nap time, my mom walked me to the bathroom to pee — walking on my own was pretty difficult. As I sat down, and before I actually started peeing, we heard this loud POP. A gush of water came streaming out. It legit sounded like a water balloon breaking. My doula rushed in to check the color of the water, luckily no meconium!
Contractions were now super intense and I was really struggling to get through them. I was very loudly moaning and making guttural animal noises through them. It wasn’t pretty. I started asking for an epidural, crying, saying I couldn’t do this, asking why I thought going unmedicated was a good idea, asking when it would be over, telling everyone I wanted to go home etc. etc. which is classic ‘transition’ talk. If you don’t know what transition is, let me tell you — it’s pure f*cking hell. There was almost no relief, because after the contraction was over, I was left with this terrible amount of pressure as the baby was slowly dropping. Transition was the worst part of labor, hands down. The amount of pressure you feel in your rectum is almost unbearable. Also, I would go from freezing and shivering to burning up and sweating. My husband was worried I was going to be dehydrated so he kept trying to get me to sip water / gatorade, which I had no stomach for. As much as the transition blows, it’s also the quickest phase of labor, and the very last one you need to go through before you can start pushing. Our nurse, Kathy, was awesome, she didn’t leave my side from here on out. She and my doula worked beautifully together, and between the two of them gave excellent support and encouragement to work and sway with each contraction to help move the baby down to the birth canal.
Tuesday, December 04 — 1AM
I finally started getting the urge to push. It really does feel like having to take a huge poop. The midwife on call that night was Kandace, who is equally as awesome as Tina & Dina (who had already left for the night). Kandace came back into the room and checked me for the first time since my office visit 12 hours prior. Getting checked while the baby is fully engaged, and you literally have no time in between contractions was brutal. I know I didn’t make it easy for her. I was screaming and squirming and it was awful. BUT I was 10cm, fully effaced, and ready to go! I actually started crying tears of relief because I knew the end was finally in sight. Oh, and we were that much closer to meeting our baby girl.
But not every contraction gave me the urge to push, so I had to wait until a good one would come along. We tried various positions, all of which were horribly uncomfortable until we made our way back to the toilet. I LOVED laboring over the toilet, it provided the least amount of pressure in my bum and was much easier to bear down.
Kandace told me I needed to do several ‘practice pushes’ before the real deal. I was sitting on the toilet, one hand gripping the handicap railing, the other using my husbands arms / legs for support, feet propped up and flat on stools under me (similar to a squatty potty). I actually really liked pushing, it was a huge relief because it gave me the opportunity to do something with the pressure — if that makes any sense. It was a really busy that night, Kandace was bouncing back and forth between three other births, so she left me and my birth team in the bathroom for a bit, thinking it would take quite a while since I’m a first time mom. Amy and Kathy took over from there. They gave really good direction for what to do and how to properly push: chin to chest, hold breath, try for three pushes per contraction. After a few pushes, I was allowed to put my fingers inside to touch my baby’s head. It was excellent motivation! It was so cool, she was right there, I could feel her head. We tried a mirror, because at this point I wanted to see the baby, but it was really hard to see with the angle and position (I was still sitting on the toilet at this point), and the dark bathroom. I kept pushing and pushing with each contraction. Kathy and Amy were giving positive praise and encouragement, but I guess it was going faster than they thought it would because they started screaming ‘STOP PUSHING!’
And that’s when the ring of fire happened. Holy fuck that BURNED. Even worse, once the ring of fire happens, you must have a doctor or midwife present to catch the baby (hence being told to stop pushing). My midwife was in another L&D room at the time, so I had to hold a push (which was just about impossible) while that ring continued to burn as the baby’s head was crowning. Amy didn’t think Kandace would make it back in time so she begin washing her hands and putting on gloves in case she had to be the one to catch the baby, but Kandace finally arrived and got herself set up for the grand finale. I’m sure Kandace was moving as quick as possible (Amy told me later that Kandace actually ran into the room), but I swear it took her a fucking eternity and I couldn’t hold it any longer… and boom out came the head. Well, sort of, it definitely was not as dramatic as that. Kandace applied counter pressure on my perineum as she slowly guided the head out to minimize tearing. Once the head was fully out, I was asked to stand up so gravity could do it’s thing and give one more good push. I don’t remember this push at all, or if I even pushed, maybe she slid out? Our baby girl came out SCREAMING, which was a huge relief, and was immediately put on my chest.
Tuesday, 2:55AM
Holding our daughter was a rush of emotions, I was in a bit of shock that this screaming little creature came out of me literally seconds ago, and a YAAAAAS we’re done with this! I obviously cried (for like the 50th time) and couldn’t believe she was here. She was so tiny, she had her eyes wide open looking around, she had hair, she was pink, she was alert, she was perfect. Baby girl got a 9 on her APGAR score. Holding my daughter for the very first time, I walked back to the hospital bed for the afterbirth (my memory of this is very hazy, I remember walking alone — just me and my daughter — later my mom told me I needed the assistance of four adults for support). The bathroom looked like a murder scene, there was blood and fluid everywhere, it was destroyed. We opted for delayed cord clamping (highly recommend) and the afterbirth really wasn’t as bad as everyone says, mine slid out in a few pushes and wasn’t painful at all, until they had to press on my stomach for ensure no clots were still inside. That sucked. I held my baby on my chest while I got cleaned up. Much needed. I literally had all the fluids on me: blood, sweat, remnants of my mucus plug, tears, my own vomit, meconium (baby girl had her first bowel movement on my stomach), and I’m pretty sure urine (mine, not the baby). Amy hand fed me a turkey sandwich while Kathy injected a shot of pitocin in my thigh to stop the bleeding. Kandace had to evaluate tearing / damage and I swear, second to transition, that was the most excruciating part of labor. I know I didn’t make that part easy for Kandace either. I was screaming and squirming, again. It was awful. But I ended up having three super minor tears which would be able to heal themselves without the need for stitches (score!). At our postpartum visit, Amy said that holding the ring of fire helped with stretching and minimizing tearing, so I guess that was the upshot of that part!
Me and baby girl had well over an hour of skin-to-skin time, then she was weighed and measured. It shocked everyone when they announced she was less than 6lb. Amy headed home after so many hugs and kisses — we wouldn’t have been able to do this without her. We were moved to our postpartum and recovery room around 6AM. Totally unable to sleep with so much adrenaline pumping through me, I started FaceTiming and calling my brothers, father, grandmother, and cousins. And then I spent hours holding and staring at my daughter, until my mom came back over around 10AM with coffees. My mom was amazing, I literally would not have survived the first week without her. That’s another story in and of itself but let’s just say I’ve never felt closer and more connected to my mother, now that I am one myself, and I love seeing her with her granddaughter. She’s a superstar grandmother.
All in all I’m thrilled with how everything went, it was a wonderful experience. I just adored the staff, the kind nursing team, every single midwife I worked with throughout my pregnancy, and everyone else who assisted in some way with the birth. I’m incredibly lucky that we had no complications and were able to have the unmedicated hospital birth of our dreams. Though, my husband is still a little miffed at the OB who gave us a little scare during our NST. Three couples we’re friends with, who also delivered their babies at GW, all had similar ‘scares’ during a routine appointment and were asked to head directly to L&D. So yeah, it kind of angered and stressed out my husband that the exact same thing happened to us… BUT, once we checked in, chatted with Tina & Dina, it was exactly what we wanted and sometimes I weep when I think of how smoothly everything went. I still can’t believe how incredibly miraculous the female body is, and I’m forever grateful my body carried a perfectly healthy baby to full term, and went into spontaneous labor, and progressed beautifully without the need for medical augmentation. I’ve also never loved my body more, yes, even my postpartum body. I’m so incredibly proud of it and what it’s done for my family.
Naomi Elizabeth Boxer
12-04-18, 2:55am | 5lb 12oz, 19.75″
And that’s how our sweet baby girl Naomi (aka Nomes, Nay Nay, Scrunch, Triple Pooper, Little Doodles) entered the world! We love her more than life itself, and feel so incredibly grateful that this little girl is ours.
Note: My husband said that hiring a doula was an excellent decision and couldn’t imagine either of us going through a future birth without the help of a doula. Once sh*t got real, Amy ran the show, and everyone was happy to let her do it! So to all you soon-to-be mamas who are on the fence about hiring a doula? DO IT!
If you’re wondering, we hired Doulas of Capital Hill for a birth doula and a private lactation consultant — worth every penny. We worked with the GW Midwifery Group and delivered at GWU Hospital.